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Worst Pick Up Lines: Exposed

OK, Summiteers, as I mentioned on Sunday, this blog will be used as a type of open forum for the Exposed series. Post your comments below, or, if you have a question you'd rather not post publicly, send it here to my associate Pastor Charlie.

This coming Sunday we're going to look at the importance of being clear about your intentions in the dating relationship, as well as what it means for guys to be God-centered leaders in the relationship. Here's something you could help me with... what are some of the worst pick-up lines or spineless tactics  by guys that you girls have experienced? I have feeling you have some good stuff you can share.

In seminary, these were the worst/best(?) Christian pick-up lines we compiled:

• “You may not have chosen me, but I have chosen you.”
• “I could not help but notice you were exegeting me instead of the text during the sermon.”
• ”Your name must be grace, because you are irresistible.”
• "There are six things that motivate me to talk to you, yea seven that turned my head.”
• “God may be the bread of life, but you are the butter.”
• “Well, gouge out my eyes and cut off my hands. If I hang around you much longer, I won’t have any limbs left.”
• “There’s something about you that just makes me want to repent.”
• “I’m pretty flexible… I don’t think a woman should be submissive on the first date.”
  
• “You must have missed The Fall line, because you are lookin’ righteous.”
• “Are you homo or homoi?" (sorry if you don't get this one. Seminary-nerd humor).

OK, though... seriously. What stories do you have?

Finally, I would highly recommend the following books for you if you're interested into delving more into what godly relationships look like. Here also are some other messages you might enjoy.

P.S. We're thinking about doing a deal where people can text in questions they have during the service which I will answer for 30 minutes in another room after the 2nd Brier Creek service for those that are interested... and doing that as a permanent part of our Sunday morning experience. It would hopefully be a time with a more relaxed feel to it wherein we could dialogue about things that may be confusing from the message and the Christian faith in general. Specifically, we would hope this would be something people new to Christianity might find interesting. What do you think?

Exposed, Open-Sourced

NOTHING offers as much hope for the future as the prospect of romance. At the same time, there are few things that cause as much anxiety and fear as love gone wrong.

That's why we're delving into a systematic, chapter by chapter study of the Bible's book of Romance, written by the wisest and dumbest man who ever lived: the Song of Solomon.

This week, in chapter 1, we'll look at "the Laws of Attraction." What should we really be looking for in romance? What should we avoid? What should we do when we find it?

I'd love for this blog to be a kind of "open forum" for the next few weeks, wherein you have a chance to give feedback and ask questions. Once a week in a blog post I'll either review what we studied or preview what's coming and you can give me your feedback in the comments section. I promise to read them.

On Sunday, we'll have a lot of resources (books and stuff) you can use to study along with me yourself. Many of our Summit Life Groups will be doing a companion study along with me for these 6-7 weeks.

We'll have homework. Some of it will be fun.

If this subject causes a lot of angst within you, I understand. Regardless of your current status or your past mistakes, I promise that you will find something redemptive and instructive in the book of Song of Solomon for you.

And remember, for people not yet convinced of the claims of Christ, romance can be a powerful clue to the existence of God. I've always been moved by the words of Ernest Becker, the atheist who wrote The Denial of Death. He said:

We still need to feel that our life matters in the scheme of things. We still want to merge our selves with some higher self-absorbing meaning in trust and in gratitude. But if we no longer have God, how are we to do this? One of the first ways that occurred to the modern person was the romantic solution. The self-glorification that we need in our innermost being, we now look for in the love partner. The love partner becomes the divine ideal within which to fulfill one's life. Spiritual and moral needs now become focused on one individual.

What is it that we want when we elevate the love partner to this position? We want to be rid of our faults. We want to be rid of our feeling of nothingness. We want to be justified. We want to know that our existence hasn't been in vain. We want redemption, nothing less… In case we are inclined to forget how deified the romantic love object is, the popular songs continually remind us. . . But no human relationship can bear (this) burden of godhood... If your partner is your 'ALL' then any shortcoming in him becomes a major threat to you.

Perhaps you know someone that is asking the questions that a study like this can answer. For you Summit members, I'm praying that you and I can use this series to introduce people to the awesome, satisfying, redemptive love of Christ.

The Power of Words

It should not be surprising that the majority of the time I am discouraged it is because of negative words--words that either someone else, Satan, or even my own self has spoken into my life. Whoever came up with that "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is an idiot, and ought to be pelted ruthlessly with those sticks and stones. Words are powerful. As Proverbs says, the  actual power of life and death is in the tongue. And that's not just a metaphor.

Over the weekend I read some great insight on this by Martin Luther. Luther pointed out that the two most powerful things ever to happen on earth, the original creation and our salvation (the new creation), are both accomplished through words. God's words are different than how we normally understand language... we typically give names to things that are already realities; God speaks and His words become realities. At creation, God looked into nothingness and spoke. He said, "Let there be light," and where there was darkness there was light.

The same is true with our salvation, the new creation. God speaks to sinful, screwed-up people and declares them righteous and whole through the cross. We know our reality to be sinful, corrupted and dysfunctional. But when we believe His words, through His power of new creation we become those very things He declared of us.

That means that when someone (or Satan or my own heart) tells me I am a failure, or worthless, or sinful, I have a choice. I can believe what they say and become what they say about me, or I can believe what God says about me and become that. God says that in Christ I am a new creation. He says I am clean and forgiven. He says I have a future and a hope. He says I was chosen to be incredibly fruitful and a world overcomer. He says goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, that nothing can separate me from Him, and that no weapon formed against me will prosper.

I believe Him.

I encourage you to become a part of the Gospel process in people's lives. Don't speak words of criticism and judgment into people's lives. Rather, speak in words of hope, which God has declared as the new reality. See not what people are in themselves, but what they could be in Christ and speak that over them. The words you say negatively to people may be true, but they do not reflect the new reality which God has declared. We usually want to change people by pointing out their failures and making them feel bad about them. God grows us instead by hope... by calling us to put faith in a vision that He sees for us. When we believe it, we become it.

Easter... Exposed

Well, praise God for answering a lot of prayers on Easter. I saw so many people with guests with them, and many of you have told me how God used the weekend in their lives. And yes, we had people there who came just because of the T-shirts and inviter cards... one guy came up to me after the service on Saturday night--he had received Christ that evening, and he told me that just that afternoon he'd seen somebody in Caribou Coffee with our T-shirt who invited him to come. Awesome. Sometimes people are just one invitation away from eternity.

I don't have all the exact numbers from Easter yet, but we had well, well over 3000 in attendance for the Saturday/Sunday services, and it looks like we had a lot of people turn in cards saying they were trusting Christ. Here's a story a Raleigh News and Observer reporter who was at the service Sunday ran in today's paper.

If you're a Summit member, stop and thank God for that. We can never take it for granted. We don't deserve any of it.

This coming weekend starts the Exposed series, a journey through Song of Solomon looking at what the Bible has to say about sex, love, dating and romance in general. Should be spicy.

The Title of My Sermon for Sunday

Here's my Sunday sermon title as announced on our new sign.

Just kidding. This is a great picture taken by the ever watchful Summit members Tiffany and Matt Oettinger. They saw it on Highway 98.

See you Saturday or Sunday. Remember, come to the earliest service you can. If you can, come on Saturday night and bring people! I'm so excited about the day, the message God has given me to preach, the music and all the extras and what's going to happen on that day I can hardly stand it.

I want to be the smallest church in our area

The other morning I was reading my Bible before I came into work and came to the passage in Numbers 11 where Joshua gets jealous for Moses' sake because there are a couple of other prophets running around in Israel's camp giving words from God. Moses' response is, "Are you jealous for my sake? I wish ALL of God's people were prophets!" (11:29-30)

I wish that there were 20 churches of 2000 or more in the Brier Creek area alone. Even if there were that many, we still wouldn't have reached all the people that live in this area.

There are 1.6 million people in Raleigh and grows by 7% a year. Even if our church grew by 15,000 next year, we would not have kept up with just the GROWTH percentage of RDU.

I pray that God blesses and grows our church, yes. I also pray that he blesses other churches preaching the same message. For however big we'll get, it would always be better if there were more and bigger churches around us. More and growing churches mean more people finding Jesus. We don't want to commit the sin of idolatry by being jealous of someone else's growth. To paraphrase Moses, "Don't be jealous for our sake, I wish that all God's churches were thriving and growing!"

If my church doubles next year, that would be great. But why shouldn't I also want the church down the road to grow 4x that fast? Wouldn't that mean more people coming to Jesus? For my brother pastors, if you don't desire other churches to grow and even surpass yours, it may be good to do a heart check. As I've heard, there is such a fine but distinct line between "my kingdom come" and "thy kingdom come."

The stakes are too high for church leaders to be consumed with petty territorial jealousy. Heaven and hell are real, and faith in Jesus' blood is the only the thing that makes the difference between those two. I don't have time or energy to compete with other churches. We've got one shot at making Jesus famous in our generation.

Our pastoral team has been praying for all the Gospel-teaching churches in the RDU area that they would see something this Easter that would blow their minds. We pray that God would grip RDU with the Gospel and turn this place upside down. We're glad to be a part of that team.

T-Shirt Mania

Oh yeah. All over the Triangle. We're the rabid, slightly - cheesy, new T shirt church.

We sold a truly unbelievable amount of those shirts the last 2 weeks. So, in the words of that late, great theologian Tupac Shakur, now's the time to represent. Wear your T-shirt especially this Friday/Saturday. Go to Walmart and Target. Go to a restaurant with the T-shirt (especially in the Brier Creek area) and tip 25%. Spill barbecue sauce on  your shirt so the waiter notices it. Ask the waiter/waitress if they've seen any other of the shirts. Be the billboard. Go ahead. Drop your coolness and be an idiot for the weekend.

I am personally wearing my shirt every day between now and then. If people don't notice the shirt, I figure they'll notice the smell.

If you don't have one, we have all sizes, including kids sizes, at the Brier Creek offices.

Easter: We try to make our services each Sunday open, welcoming and relevant for people who don't share our faith, but on Easter the service will be particularly relevant for people who are skeptical of Christianity or disengaged from the church.

Don't just invite your relatives from other churches. Think of that person that you think is least likely to consider Jesus and invite them. Give God a chance to be amazing. The music is going to be incredible. By faith, I believe it will be a day that we will never forget.

For Summit members: remember, services at Brier Creek are Saturday at 6:45pm and Sunday at 9:00 and 10:45 (Cole Mill: Saturday at 7:00pm and Sunday at 9:15 and 11:00). COME TO THE EARLIEST SERVICE YOU CAN, especially come Saturday if you can. Be ridiculously friendly. Help people who look unfamiliar in knowing where to go, etc.

Pray like crazy between now and then.

A Real Life Legend: Henry Blackaby

This past weekend I had a chance to spend some time with a guy who for years has been more like a legend to me than a real person, Henry Blackaby, author of the Bible study Experiencing God that was so popular years ago. I went through it in college, and it had a huge impact on me. It was part of what sent me into ministry.

He and I were both speaking at a conference on Prayer and Spiritual Awakening. Of course, that was a more than a little intimidating by itself... he had over 30 books he had authored there for sell. Someone asked me, "Where are your books?" I stammered and stuttered and finally offered to sign some of Dr. Blackaby's books.

He is an older man now, and has that sage-like quality of someone who has walked with God for years. He drips with wisdom and the anointing of God. He has devoted himself now to seeing a prayer awakening in the church. We got to spend time together talking and praying. I kept catching myself peeking at him during prayer times thinking maybe he slipped into some kind of trance wherein he pulled an Enoch and walked with God. I kept expecting to look up and see him vanish. But no, he prays just like you and me. His prayers are simple and childlike, and with great intimacy. I even saw him writing stuff down while other people were praying... made me feel better about the times I do that.

I'm always impressed when I meet some of these older giants of the faith at how "normal" they are. Normal dudes, awesome God.

He lamented that prayer is the one thing that seems to be absent from most of the "new and current" movements in Christianity (many of which he is grateful for)--which means that all of our reforms may end up crumbling much as we have seen the reforms of our ancestors crumble. The prayer of faith in the Gospel is what makes the foundations of our ministry solid, period.

I asked him what he was most concerned with in the "newer" generation of Christian leaders. He said, "Praise and worship." I said, "Praise and worship?" He said, "Yes. By and large praise and worship is a huge problem for the church. Today's praise and worship rarely calls people to repentance. It attempts to lay a foundation of spirituality on top of idolatrous and sin-tolerating hearts. There can be no move of God until God's people really repent, and our religiosity, which is most seen in our music, keeps us from real repentance. We need a John the Baptist who can cut through our religiosity and call us to really deal with our sin." (that is my summary of his words, so I may have messed it up a little bit.)

But I was floored. What incredible insight.

He then said, "The second thing is drums." I said, "Drums?" He said, "Yes. That is the world's music and it has no business in the church." OK, so obviously I didn't agree with everything that he had to say. Drums are a huge part of our worship at our church, and I don't believe there is a biblical distinction in some music that is God's and other that is Satan's. While the Old Testament is full of instructions about the specifics of worship, the New Testament is silent, because (I believe) the intent is for each culture to find the appropriate ways, musically, to express praise to God.

But even though I may not agree with everything the generation in front of me believes, I am grateful for their faithfulness to God and for the Gospel they taught me. I imagine that there are a few things I believe which time will show have more to do with my cultural trappings and not real Biblical values. I hope God and my children will be gracious to me where I fail. Sometimes I think the greatest fault of my "younger" generation of leaders is we have a self-righteous scorn for older people who we think got some things wrong. Big news flash: we will get some things wrong, too. If we can't be gracious even to our own "fathers," what kind of Gospel do we have to preach to the world?

I am grateful for Dr. Blackaby, and for taking time to invest in the next generation. We neglect their wisdom at our own peril.

5 Things I Love About Our Church

I had 5 short successive conversations over the weekend that made me extremely grateful the power of God at work within the Summit Church. If you go the Summit, I want to encourage you with them and then point something out at the end...

1. One of our members who is a teacher at Riverside High School led 2 students and a custodian to Christ, and has been bringing them to the Summit and sitting with them the last few weeks. I love it when people understand that evangelism is their personal responsibility and not something "the church" does. This teacher, by the way, is headed to Central Asia on one of our church plants.

2. A guy who looks like the poster child for Harley-Davidson (complete with bandana, beard, leather jacket and of course, his Harley parked out front) told me that (sadly) he has to move back to Texas but he wanted us to know what the church and a few of our members have meant to him over the past 6 months. He said, "I'm sober now, and my life has changed. You'll never know..." He got a little emotional. He said, "I'm going back to Texas now, but what happened here will never leave me." I love it that there is no social class "norm" at the Summit, and most everyone feels WELCOME at our church.

3. Jerry Rankin, the president of the International Mission Board (the largest missions sending agency in the world and the group through whom we do most of our mission work), came up to me at a Prayer and Awakening Conference at which I spoke over the weekend and said, "Wow, what do you guys have there at the Summit, a missions factory? We have had very few deployments in the last few years in which we haven't had someone from the Summit represented."

4. One of the guys preparing to go to Central Asia on one of our teams is a Law student at one of our prestigious academic institutions around here. He has chosen to major in shariah law so that he can be a help to Islamic governments. Someone said to him, "That's a strange thing for an upcoming lawyer to do, isn't it? To take the degree and go to Central Asia?" He said, "Not around here (the Summit), it's not. It's kind of the norm." Wow. Praise God.

5. One of our Summit Life Small Group Area Leaders grabbed me after the 2nd Brier Creek service and said, "See that family pulling away in that van? That's a van purchased for them by another family in the Summit. That family of 5 had fallen on hard times and been without transportation for several months. Different Summit Life families have been driving them around, and one just last week bought that van and gave it to them." This is perhaps the most exciting, because "By this will all men know that you are My disciples... that you love one another." Love in action like this is what causes people to see the truth of Jesus...

Now, we have a load of shortcomings, but thank God for the effects of the Gospel within the church. If you're a Summit member, take a minute and thank God for changing us from being self-righteous religious people into loving, believing people.

Easter is coming, and our community is filled with people like those in the stories above. Some of them aren't even believers yet. Some of them are currently OPPOSED to Jesus. So, don't just invite a relative from another church on Easter, step out and TAKE A CHANCE ON GOD and invite someone ridiculously "hard" on Easter. Give God a chance to be amazing.

Here's info on the services. It's going to be incredible, I believe.

And wear your T-Shirt. Every day if you can, but ESPECIALLY this Saturday. Go to Brier Creek and make a big deal. Leave 25% tips and inviter cards.

Adoption as a Ministry pt 2

Yesterday I posted a letter from one of our college pastors, Trevor Atwood, which he wrote this week from Ethiopia concerning the adoption of his 2nd son. Trevor and Keva are returning to America this week with their new son, Isaac. I told you I'd post his other letter today, and it is below.

Before that, however... you Summit people may know that part of our mission is to be a blessing to our city. We look at RDU's problems as our problems. We have "adopted" some neighborhoods and schools to try and be a blessing to, one of which is Eastway Elementary School. For several years you have helped out that school in numerous ways. In the years you have been involved, Eastway has gone from being a school with one of the worst test scores to one of the best, and the principal has publicly thanked us and given glory to God as a part of that process. Yesterday one of our pastors, Chris Gaynor, went to visit the principal there. They asked us to come out and pray over the school before the "end of the year" evaluation tests. Of course we said yes. The principal also told us, somewhat overwhlemed, that they have 64 kids in their school who are now "homeless" (i.e. live in foster homes, shelters, etc). Chris asked the worship ministry last night... "OK, we say this is our school, so these are OUR homeless kids. What are WE going to do about that?" Those 64 kids are part of our responsibility.

Right now our community is mourning the loss of Eve Carson of UNC-CH. Two kids have been arrested (though not confirmed guilty yet). Jim Hill, a District Court Judge who goes to our church, stood up last night and said, "I see dozens of kids like the two charged in the Eve Carson murder come through my courtroom each month. The ones committing the crimes in their teen years are the ones like the 64 at this school without families. What we do with these kids could potentially make the difference between life and death for others in the future."

Summit, this is our city. She is our mission. We will not leave her.

OK, here is the letter from Trevor. It reminds me of why we have church plants and projects overseas... and why international adoption is such an incredible ministry opportunity for some of us. If you want to know more, ask Trevor...

Yesterday was a busy day. We visited 3 gov't orphanages. The first one was an older boys (13-18). By far, the worst conditions we have seen so far. I won't describe them here, but they were bad. These boys have very little hope of being adopted. All they cling to is having someone from America sponsor them (like $400 for a year) so they can get an education and be provided for a little more than they are. Travis, our in country rep, brought pictures to them from the last time he visited with a family. The boys flocked to him wanting to get the copies of the photos that were taken of them. When I pulled out my camera, it was like a photo shoot. Boys tapping me on the shoulder saying in their thick accent "Picture! Picture!" I took many. We met one young man named Gad. He is 17 and studying law. Very smart. Hoping to go to America. We saw their library as well. about 15 books on various subjects (history, geography, etc) to share among 50+ boys. One teenager slipped me a note that read like this: "I like to play soccer. I have a problem. I do not have any shoes. If it is not a bother, could you bring me some soccer shoes. Thank you." I think I'll send him some via Travis when we get back. Talk about realizing my selfishness. WOW.

Isaac loved seeing all the kids. I think it was familiar to him. He just smiled and made all kinds of funny noises as Keva held him or he walked around (he is walking). It is so refreshing to us to hear him do that. He continued it in the car ride home, just making funny baby talk.

After lunch, we went to the younger kids orphanage (4-12 with some babies too). This place was a little better. Here we passed out stickers and candy and little frogs that you could fling like a rubber-band. At one point, I had so many of these little ones crowding around me it nearly knocked me over. They were cute. It reminded me of the final scene in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" when all the kids are let out from slavery and they all run and crowd around Indy. I showed them all how to shoot the frogs, and they wanted me to shoot theirs (I landed a couple on the roof...oops). Travis pointed out one older girl there that had been matched to families to adopt. You could tell there was something different about her. Instead of hoarding pictures and toys, she was passing them to others. All she wanted was news from her family, (pictures, letter, etc.). How this speaks so clearly of our adoption by God and how it changes wherein lies our hope. these children need homes. They need the gospel displayed to them in the love of a mom and dad. There were definitely more than a few that we would have taken home with us if allowed.

The last stop of the day was the older girls orphanage. THis place was like the Hilton compared to the other 2. Hardwood floors, large rooms, well groomed campus. We also found some teenage girls there that we would have love to bring home. BEAUTIFUL young ladies that carried themselves very well. When they turn 18 or 19, they are given about the equivalent of $50 USD and sent out into the city. Most will have a high school ed, but that's it.

We returned home and Isaac played with me on the floor with markers and paper for about 20 minutes while momma snuck off to clean up. He never noticed she was gone. He loves to scribble and push markers under the couch so I have to retrieve them. He also was throwing the marker then walking to pick it up. More good stuff.

Ok, I miss you all and can't wait to be back home. Keep praying.

Here's a great link by John Piper about adoption as a ministry, too...